Mike Race ... God Scandal

From: Nathan Siedman
Subject: Mike Race ... God Scandal
Date: Wednesday, May 26, 2010, 9:51 PM

Say it aint so, Mike. Say it aint so.

This just in:

Reuters, the Times and the Post have all reported that Mike Race was implicated in the steroid scandal that is rocking the cycling world. According to Floyd Landis and verified by an anonymous source close to Mike (We'll call her S. Race - no, too obvious - Sarah R.), "the cartel," as they called themselves, included sports superstars that say Race forced the performance enhancing drugs on them.

Roger Clemens and Jose Canseco each issued press releases that Mike held them down and injected them with human growth hormone saying "you'll thank me later." Lance Armstrong testified before the Grand Jury that Mike intimidated him into sharing his blood before long races - a procedure that some say cost Armstrong a testicle.

This bad publicity comes at a particularly bad time considering that Mike just ordered 500,000 "Mike Race is God" bumper stickers. Mike was not reached for comment on this story. Rumor has it that more details will be released throughout the week.